HELP ME!
Copyright © Connie (Cahoon) Wagner. All rights reserved.


Pushing away
Those I love,
Don’t get hurt,
First to shove.

Keep emotions
Locked up tight,
When they let go,
Things won't be right.

Hurt myself,
Then I won’t feel,
The other hurts,
That do not heal.

I am too afraid
To show my face,
The time has passed,
I lose the race.

Trying to feel
The love they give,
I want to heal,
Or I won’t live.

Just let go,
Is what they say,
It’s just that I
Don’t know the way.

Why can’t I just
Accept the love,
Of special people
Sent from above?

My world is good,
I tell myself,
So keep the crap,
Up on a shelf.

But in, it creeps,
Hits me unaware,
Hurts everyone around me,
They think, I don’t care.

I would give it all,
For him to hear,
My promise to him,
And not my fear.

How can I say,
What I won’t do,
I cannot lie,
To you too!!

I’ve broken promises,
Too many times;
I cannot add,
To my list of crimes.

Can you not see,
What I am?
I’m no good,
My life’s a scam.

As much as your love,
Means to me,
I must show you,
Must make you see.

Something dark,
Inside of me,
Just takes over,
Can’t you see?

It’s not what I
Would like to be,
It’s just the way
I’m meant to be.

I don’t know why
I cannot feel,
The love I get,
I know is real.

It makes me want,
To find an end,
It’s not my life,
I want to spend.

It’s just the empty
Feeling of,
Not knowing if,
I know how to love.

Please don’t let me,
Give in to,
The stupid things,
I want to do.

Don’t leave me alone,
To ruin my life,
They way I did yours,
Being your wife.

Keep me safe,
While I find,
The narrow path,
Back to my mind

I love you!
This you must know!
Please don’t say
You have to go!!

.~ Connie (Cahoon) Wagner

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